Misc Jamaican Jokes

The jokes I'm going to jot down here don't really have a category. If you think I have listed a joke here inappropriately please leave comments in the section below.

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I overheard this one the other day as two young black children spoke. I thought it was funny and worthy of mention.

Person 1. What's the name of the Negger that plays terminator?

Person 2 Neggar!? What do you mean?

Person 1. Yeah! Yeah! What's his name?

Person 2. I don't know of any black person playing in the terminator movie series.

Person1. No No No, you mis-understand me

Person 2. I sure do

Person 3. You mean Schwarzenegger?

Person 1. That's exactly who I mean. And here you were thinking that I was using the N-word out of place. That's is his actual name right?

I could not say a word. The conversations kids have.

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https://jamaicans.com/jamaicanjokes/

One night a man was relaxing watching TV when out of the kitchen comes his wife with 

a frying pan and hits her husband with.

 –BOOF!–

 “ah who name Shiela?” asked the wife accusatively

, “Mi find this paper eena yuh pocket wid di name Shiela pon it, who she?”. 

The man still rubbing his headback replies 

“Lawks me and Richie did dung ah di racetrack tiddeh an dat is di name of di

horse weh we bet pan, a wah duh yuh oman?!!”. 

So the wife apologized, kissed his and headback and promised to make it better later,

then went back to her chores. The house phone in the kitchen rings and the wife answers.

She storms out of the kitchen with the same frying pot and hits the husband twice this

time.

–BOOF!! BAM!!– 

“Oman!!! A WHA DUH YUH?!!” shouted the husband, 

and the wife responds “YUH HORSE DEH PON DI PHONE!!

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A Jamaican guy enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman

sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that it’s from the

gentleman over there. She takes one look at the champagne and decides to send a note back to

the Jamaican, the note reads…

“For me to accept this bottle you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million in the bank and

9 inches in your trousers.”

After Reading this note the Jamaican sends back a note of his own, it reads…

“Jus su yuh know…me av a bran new benz an a bran new bimma park up inna mi yard, an mi

av over 10 million inna de bank but nuhbaddy an mi mean NUHBADDY nah gon mek mi cut 3 inches off a wah mi av inna mi pants…suh yuh can jus sen back di champagne!”

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