Testimony of one Jamaican - Chapter 3

My visits to Ms. Mattie’s yard (house) were not only frequent but extended. It was often the case that if Mom wanted to see me, she would have to go to Mattie to do so. This worked out fine for Mom, since she was a teacher in training and needed a lot of time to devote to her studies, i.e. if she was going to pass those exams that would make her a real (professional) teacher.

She taught at the high school during the days and studied at night by the light of a candle or kerosene lamp. Back then there was hardly a house that had light (Electricity). I guess this is what was meant by the expression of “burning the midnight oil.” With her husband gone most nights and her baby by Ms. Mattie, this was the best thing she could do with her nights.

Ms. Mattie was a stay-at-home Mom and a very good one. The experience she gained from raising her own 5 children, more than qualified her to take care of me. Of all her children I think she might have loved Dad the most, in my mind, this was the only explanation I could give, for the affection I was shown.

I was a very ambitious child even as a toddler; long before I had mastered the art of creeping I was trying to walk. Mattie said she would tell me over and over, “Yuh haffi creep before yuh can walk” But it seemed I would ignore her and hold on to everything that I could reach to enable my ambition of walking. She said I crept for a week then walked naturally after that.

Apart from the kitchen, there were two main buildings in Mattie’s yard. A one-room wooden structure and a three-room concrete structure. The kitchen was a scantily built free-standing structure that had four rough wooden posts for foundation and rotting zinc as its roof. There were three counters there that stored all the utensils needed for cooking. There was a counter built out of concrete in the center, on it was the coal stove. This was where the kitchen fire was built to cook all meals. If it should rain, and it did often in these parts, Mattie had to put on rain gear to cook.

I still remember sitting on the verandah of her cubby looking into the kitchen and seeing smoke rising from it as she prepared our meals. Each meal had a special taste since in addition to the heat which resonated from the fire, they were also marinated with the smoke that rose from the lit coals. As you can imagine kerosene was a very special commodity since it was used to start our meal fires.

The one -room was where Mr. George (Mattie’s husband) stayed and the other was Mattie’s house. Till this day I don’t know why they both slept in different quarters. I never thought anything of it at the time.

In the concrete structure, two of the rooms were transformed into bedrooms and the largest was the dining-room/living- room/1/2 kitchen. The largest room had a 2-burner kerosene oil stove to one side, and on the other side, just off to the right of the window, in the corner was a wooden table with two chairs. There was a long white plastic cloth over it, which acted as its cover. Although it was not obvious this was a three-legged table, and it needs to be in that corner so that it would not topple over.

There were only 3 items stored on this table. Her fruit basket filled with plastic fruits, the kerosene lamp and a couple of cookbooks, which looked like they had been with her for too many years.  Not too far from the table was a piece of furniture that up till this day I only know as the “buffet”. This was where Ms. Mattie kept all her important stuff papers and fancy crockery. There was also some paper that only Mattie could tell what was written on them. At my age, I thought this might have been some special inscription that Mattie had put on these papers, but I was wrong. I later found out that only she could read the papers because there was no one else in the yard that could.

In one of the two draws at the base were some of her extra special seasonings, she used these to bake at Christmas time. I’m not sure why these were not kept in the real kitchen outside. In the other draw was the cutlery- 2 forks, 1 dinner knife, and plenty of spoons which might have been ten now that I think about it. When you’re a toddler even 10 seems like plenty- Above the draws were two glass doors, which swung out when open. These doors were always kept locked to keep Ms. Mattie’s valuable crockery safe. Only Ms. Mattie knew where the key was at any given time.

There were 3 glass shelves in the buffet. On the top were the very, very special items. Like her first wine glass, her 4x6 framed wedding picture, and some other drinking glasses. On the second shelf were the special plates, these only came out when there was a visitor or any other special occasion. On the third shelf were some larger bowls, in my estimation, these were probably serving trays rather than bowls. I never saw them used so I did not know what they were for.

Our daily need for utensils was met by the enamel cups and plates stored in the red basin, which was kept on top of a small water drum, stored next to the buffet. The water from this drum met all our in-house water needs.

I know you’re thinking it, so let me answer. The bathroom was also outside. In the back of Mattie’s cubby, right next to the pit toilet was a 4-walled zinc structure that Mattie and Cinthy (her last daughter) used to bathe. As for the rest of us, we had to bathe by the standpipe which was in the open at the base of the yard.

I'll be posting the entire book to Amazon soon.

A Jamaican told me why you suffocate during corona

So during the time of the corona epidemic, I caught the flu. Naturally, I thought it was corona, and thought for sure I was going to die.

Oh well so much for that. I just boosted up on my vitamins especially c and continued my normal life.

I got a sore throat and coughed up a lot of cold. eww. I thought some of the time that the cold was going to stop my breathing. not because my lungs were filled with fluid, but because the mucus in my throat felt like it was blocking my airway.

So I did a search on youtube to understand why it was that the cold settled in my throat.

I found this video. I hope you find it as informative as I found it.

What Jamaicans do during quarantine

Sleep

Smoke

Dominoes

Ludi

Eat

Read

Video Games

Learn to play an instrument

Watch a movie

Make a video

Talk to a friend on the phone

Go to a friend's house

Write: stories, poems

Online School
_____________________________________________________
Go bird hunting

Plant some crops

Go fishing

Testimony of one Jamaican - Introduction

I am currently working on a book that depicts the life of a Jamaican born in the 1970s who grew up in Jamaica. As I complete the chapters I will post them here.

I hope to capture cultural events in the story so that readers can better understand the people. and the place.

I welcome your suggestions and comments on what I have posted. I hope you enjoy

Testimony of One Jamaican - Chapter 2

The trip home

It was about 5:45 a.m later that morning when  Dad and Granma showed up. It was obvious that they had taken “First bus” or Morning Star as it was commonly called to the hospital.

First Bus usually passed through the district at 5:00 a.m., it was called morning star because the morning star was not out when this bus started its route for the day.  The well known sound of the bus horn was heard and not long after, Dad and Grandma appeared in the room searching for Mom’s bed.

Although Grandma was pleasantly surprised to know that Mom had delivered me the night before, Dad was extremely happy! Not only because I was a baby boy, but he had made several bets that the baby Mom was carrying was a boy, and it was now time for him to collect.

After negotiating the birth canal my head was a little disfigured. But it was disfigured enough to cause my dad great concern. So he blurted out,

“Mek di bway head look suh?”

“Lef him.” Mom said.

No sah, dis nuh look right, di nurse dem cyah do nutten bout it?

“Lef him mi seh!!! It wi grow into shape!

Grandma and Dad wanted to know the details of the delivery, and Mom wasted no time in telling them the whole story, (the lengthy version). She talked and talked literally for the whole day, like clockwork I was fed every 4 hours. Giving me the breast so often made mom's breasts sore. Luckily Grandma was there to teach her, i.e. to ensure that I was lactating properly.

Suddenly Granma said “mi wah ketch the bus fi guh back up, suh mi nah guh stay wid oonuh any longer. Mi affi go back, suh mi wi si oonuh lata aright?!

That was literally after she had already spent the whole day, and with that Grandma left. 

It was obvious that when Grandma returned to the district that she spread the news of my birth. News generally traveled fast through the community, but news like this traveled even faster. Soon all of the family members who could get a ride, or who could afford a taxi came by the hospital to visit and offer their congratulations.

Most stayed for a while but eventually everybody left, except Dad. He stayed as long as he could; that is until the time of last bus 9’ o clock.

At about 7:49 p.m. he said “Mi nuh wah lass bus miss mi, suh mi ah guh leave now, yuh hear, see yuh later! Mi ah guh up ah di house fi get it ready fi yuh an likkle Jason (Me). See yuh lata. He gave Mom a little peck on the lips, rubbed the baby’s head, and left.

Mom sighed heavily, “Alright, see yuh lata.” She didn’t want Dad to go, but knew he had to.

Not long after Dad left the Nurses and Doctors came by to check that Mom and I were still doing well and that we were both stable enough to leave. Eventually, we were told that we would be discharged first thing the following morning. Lucky for Mom she overheard one of the nurses saying that she was going to Hampstead that night, so she asked the nurse to get a message to her husband that she was discharged.

The district was small and everybody knew everybody. So although the nurse did not know Dad, it was not difficult to get the news to him. Dad and Newby showed up the next morning to carry us home. 

Sam-fye had allowed Mom and Dad to rent what he called the half of his house. Although it was hardly half of the house, it was just right for the budget. Our bedroom was a backroom which Sam-fye obviously built himself and the kitchen and living room was a patio that he had converted. My parents were just entering their twenties and they were as ignorant and inexperienced as could be, not to mention poor. But equipped with ambition and sheer determination they would endeavor to make a better life for me, and for themselves.

Now that I think about it, one of the main reasons Mom and Dad might have agreed to rent this room from Sam-fye was that it was walking distance from everybody who they know. Principal Bobby was jus a mile and half up the road, Newby was next door and Ms. Mattie (Dad’s mom) was 2 miles down the gulley. In addition, all of Mom’s Aunts and Cousins, and friends were a stone’s throw away.

Although the time had not yet come for Mom to go back to work, arrangements were made with Aunt Madgie (Mom’s aunt) to look after me. Aunt Madgie was no veteran caregiver but she was family and she was not going to charge Mom to look after me. It was agreed that in order for me to get used to her, she could visit the house regularly. Whenever Mom had to visit the school or make a trip to town to shop, Aunt Madgie would show up to take care of me that day.

What is two weeks to spend with your newborn? Insufficient as it was, that was all the time Dad had to spend with me before he had to return to work.  Dad was a Police Officer and was stationed for the most part in Kingston; however, his duties took him all over the island; long periods would elapse before he could be allowed to return home to see me or his wife. I know this must have been a heart-wrenching experience for him, but it was a necessary sacrifice, one that he took on without complaint.

Mom was a teacher at Hampstead All-age; the only All-age school in the district. She was given 12 weeks of maternity leave, but it seemed to pain Mom’s heart more than it did Dad to leave me at home, even though she knew that she was returning in the evening to see me again. I guess that is the love of a mother.

In addition to Aunt Madgie, there was one person that visited consistently long after everybody else had stopped, visiting. This was Ms. Mattie (Dad’s Mom). As a matter of fact, from the very second day after I had arrived home, Ms. Mattie had seemingly adopted me. She washed nappies, fed and burped me even when Aunt Madgie and Mom were there. Mattie was there all day every day.

Sometimes she would even stay late into the night. Because of Miss Mattie’s presence, Aunt Madgie didn’t do much. The truth be told Mattie would not let Aunt Madgie do anything at all. After a while, Aunt Madgie felt redundant and stopped coming to the house altogether, which was hardly noticeable since Mattie was the one doing all the work anyway.

At nights when Mom came home, she would breastfeed me, and this was our bonding time. Nobody else could breastfeed me except Mom, and she was proud of this fact. Ms. Mattie would sometimes watch and even give tips to Mom on how to do this. One night while breastfeeding Ms. Mattie said:

“Yuh know..it nuh right fi mi spen all day up here like dis, mi can tek the baby to mi yard a day time wen yuh nuh deh yah? Mi wi carry im back ah evening time.

Since Ms. Mattie was the one giving most of the care to me anyway Mom decided it was O.K. for Mattie to bring me to her house. And so it started, that every day I was at Mattie’s house.

Although Ms. Mattie lived two miles from the house she would walk the distance two times every day. Early in the morning to come and get me before Mom would go to work and in the evening when Mom returned. This probably continued until I was about 5 months old, and basically not fooling around the breast anymore.

At 4 months old I had started losing interest in the breast and at exactly 5 months I refused it altogether. It was found out later that this might have been due to the fact that Mattie had been secretly giving me cow’s milk to drink. But at the time it was found out there was nothing that Mom could have done about it. (years later – I will explain)

Although it did not show at first, it was to Mattie’s delight that I had stopped taking the breast. She saw this as an opportunity to not bring me back home in the evenings, which she capitalized on. (How can a woman love children that much till this day, I don’t understand)

I spent so much time at Ms. Mattie’s house that instead of calling where Mom lived home, it was Mattie’s house that I referred to as my home.

Testimony of One Jamaican - Chapter 1

The beginning

Rural country setting 1970’s

Yuh alright!?.…. Eeeh!? My mom’s mom (Mama) kept asking as the ride to the hospital progressed. This question didn’t make sense, Mom was in pain. How alright could she be? Nevertheless, Mom nodded in agreement. Probably did so because she was in too much pain to do anything else.

Dad and Newby (the driver) were sitting up front, but every time Mama asked this question, Dad would turn around to see what Mom’s response would be.

Compared to everyone else Dad was a nervous wreck. Lucky for Mom two veteran child-bearers were seated beside her on the back seat, Mama (mother of 7 children) was to the left and Greta (Newby’s wife, and mother of 4) was seated to the right.

Although it was a full two weeks from her due date, Mom was feeling contractions, and to make matters worse she was spotting. She knew that the contractions she had been feeling may not have been real labor pains, but she knew that spotting was a danger sign, and needed to be attended to quickly. Consequently, we were making this trip to the hospital. 

Mom could have asked the mid-wife to look at her, but since she was not going to be one of the midwife's patients, she knew that she would probably be seen last that day. So rather than taking her chances with the mid-wife or at the nearby clinic she asked Newby the only one who owned a car in the district to take her to the Hospital.

Traditionally it was the mid-wife that cared for the pregnant women in the district, up to and after delivery, however, Mom had chosen to go the non-traditional route by registering with the hospital; the only in the district, Port Maria Public.

The main reason for her decision was Aunt Tita's experience. Just a few months earlier Aunt Tita had had a terrible experience and she was determined that the same thing would not happen to her.

Tita had decided to have her baby at home, the conventional way, with the mid-wife to assist. But the baby breached and Tita could not deliver the baby.  Only after Tita had tried for two whole days to push the baby out, did the mid-wife decide to have her taken to the hospital.  When Tita reached, she had to be cut. It was not an episiotomy either, it was a cesarean. As soon as this was done both baby and afterbirth came gushing out.

The Nurse told Tita that she was lucky, for had she reached the hospital just half an hour later, they might not have been able to revive her baby. Can you imagine!! 

It wasn’t the thought that Tita had endured real labor pains for two days and was cut, that made Mom shudder; instead, it was the fact that Tita could have lost her baby, even after her ordeal. Mom was told as a child that she would never have had children, and she was fearful since then that this prophecy may come true. As a result, Mom purposed in her heart to do everything in her power to ensure that her baby would survive birth.

Newby turned through the Hospital gate and had scarcely come to a stop when Dad bailed from the front seat to open the back door for Mom. The door from this 1976 Ford Cortina creaked as Greta stepped out, and it creaked again as Mom slid over to the open door.

With a bright smile on his face, he said “Come yah Mi baby-moda!” Mom didn’t like the name, and he knew it. It’s not clear why he would have said it now, of all times.

“Nuh call mi suh!” Mom said as she tried pulling her deformed self out of the car without his help.

He smiled again “chu man stap gwan suh!” as he gestured to Mom to let him hold her hand, for support. But she was upset and refused his help. Still very much in pain, and deformed by her huge belly, she managed to pull herself out of the car without his or anybody’s help, for that matter.

She leaned on Greta’s shoulder afterward though, because she was a little winded, but she soon straightened up and started walking towards the big hand-painted sign that read “Registration”. She swayed from side to side (like a duck) with each step she took which was a full demonstration of pregnancy pride.

Wouldn’t you know that through the entire process of registration the contractions came on and off; but as soon as the process was complete they stopped altogether?

Had it not been that she had told the Nurse that she had been bleeding, they probably would have told her to go back home from that very hour. But it was not the nurse’s decision to say so, but the doctor’s and he wanted to keep Mom overnight for monitoring. On hearing this Newby his wife and Grandma, even Dad bid farewell with the promise to visit the next day.

After about 40 minutes or so, Mom was given a bed in the public ward of the hospital. This meant that there were at least 20 other beds in the section that she was in.

With the exception of two broken beds, all others were occupied by a woman in some stage or just completed the delivery process. Some mothers were sitting up with their babies; others were writhing in pain on their beds. Still, there were others who were just sitting and waiting their turn to go into labor. Mom would soon be one of those women who were sitting quietly observing while the appointed time of delivery stayed.

During her wait, she familiarized herself with her surroundings and made friends with her immediate neighbors. One was a woman just 3 years older than her (24) and the other in her thirties.

During the conversation it was found out that the woman in her thirties had had 9 other children before at home but had wanted to ensure that this would be her last, so she had come into the hospital to deliver her 10^th child and to get a hysterectomy. The 24-year-old like Mom was having her first.

Mom could have chosen to get a room on the private side of the hospital. But she hated being alone, especially since it was rumored that the private ward was haunted. This made it an even more unfavorable option.  It was frequently said that patients there would ring the bell for the nurse and the old nurse’s duppy (ghost, spirit) would show up and administer to them. The true nurse on duty would then show up minutes later, and be told that a nurse had already come by. This always made the nurse on duty say,

“Ah di duppy nurse visit yuh, cause mi ah di only nurse pan duty tonite.”

Mom and the ladies spoke way into the night with neither of them going into labor. But that was about to change. Although it was night, the few functional ceiling fans were not keeping the room cool at all and Mom said that she was going to the nearby kitchen to get the drink. The other ladies volunteered to accompany her.

Mom complained that the heat was worse in the kitchen and that the water from the pipe was not cold enough to cool her down. The 24-year-old took some ice from the freezer and filled Mom’s cup. Trying to explain the ice she said to her on looking companions.  

“Suddenly I just feel so hot and thirsty.”

And with that, she filled her cup with water from the sink and put the beverage to her head. She had not even finished the cup when she felt a sudden sharp stabbing pain in her belly. This made her drop the cup and the ice scattered on the floor.

Her heart raced within her chest as she thought, “Hmmm hmm this is it.”

Mom buckled under the pain. One of her companions tried to help her back to the ward while the other signaled for the nurse and midwife.

She gave birth to a baby boy (Jason Martin Gavin Alexander Black) weighing 8lbs 7 ounces, 2:12am on Wednesday morning July 13, 1977.

Jamaicans in South Carolina

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Rhode Island

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Pennsylvania

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Oregon

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Oklahoma

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in North Dakota

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in North Carolina

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in New York

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in New Mexico

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in New Jersey

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in New Hampshire

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Nevada

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Nebraska

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Kentucky

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Kansas

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Iowa

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Louisiana

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Maine

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Life lessons from one Jamaican

In my few years of living on this planet, I have gleaned some wisdom and I hope you can join me in sharing some life lessons.

Lesson 1

Not everybody that you know is your friend. There are people who know you and want to see you suffer and fail. Some of them are related to you by blood and call themselves family

Lesson 2

Stay focused on your own dreams and ambitions. If you compare yourself with the dreams of others you will either feel over accomplished or underachieved, and neither feeling is satisfying.

Lesson 3

When opportunity knocks jump at it. make the most out of it, because another is never guaranteed.

Lesson 4

Lesson 5

Lesson 6

Lesson 7

Lesson 8

Lesson 9

Jamaicans in Maryland

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Massachusetts

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Michigan

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Minnesota

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Missouri

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in Montana

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Are there purely Jamaican Communities?

Jamaicans in South Dakota

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

As a Jamaican living in this state, what are the benefits of living there?

Jamaicans in Tennessee

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in Texas

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in Utah

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in Vermont

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in Virginia

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in Washington

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in West Virginia

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in Ohio

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaicans in Mississippi

When visiting different states, countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold all the Jamaican stuff that you want.

Well, this is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries/states.

Since you live in these parts, and you know that this store has the stuff....Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

Jamaican Adventist

When I was a child, these people used to be known as the people of the book. You did not ever want to engage 7th-day Adventists in a bible match.

They simply knew too much. Nowadays though, the ones that I have met, are just nominal Christians. They look, talk, and act the same.

One used to be able to identify them during the week by how modest they would look. But you can't tell them anymore. For the most part, the only thing identifying them is their adherence to the Sabbath command. So like the jews, they go to church on the Bible Sabbath, and not the other day dubbed the sabbath by nominal Christendom.

I only hope they know that Sabbath observance alone is not enough to bring anyone to heaven.

The observance of the Sabbath does not make a person fireproof, or worthy to go to heaven.

It is sad that this is what this denomination has been known for. It is not known for witnessing (that is Jehovah witness) it is not for reaching out (red cross - that's catholic).

It is just for the Sabbath.

I hope they plan to change this, but quite frankly I have no idea how they are going to change their legacy in time before Jesus really appears.

Jamaicans are A Force to reckon with

There are a few brilliant minds that have originated with Jamaica that have changed the course of history. Such as Marcus Garvey and Bob Marley.

However, in the present  day, I have experienced the power of my fellow Jamaican. I created this blog, some time ago with the intent to reach the world, however, it is still my friends and Family back in the island that have been the greatest supporters. To that, I just want to wish every one that supports, a big thank you.

Jamaicans in Uruguay

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Uzbekistan

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Vanuatu

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Vatican City

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Venezuela

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Vietnam

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Yemen

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Zambia

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Zimbabwe

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in United Kingdom (UK)

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in United Arab Emirates (UAE)

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Ukraine

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

____________________________________________________________________________

Since the war I have been wondering how the Jamaicans in that country has been fairing. Does anyone have any information that they would like to share?

Jamaicans in Uganda

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Tuvalu

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Turkmenistan

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Turkey

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Tunisia

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Trinidad and Tobago

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Togo

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Timor-Leste

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Thailand

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Tanzania

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

Jamaicans in Tajikistan

O.K. Trying to see if this works. I want to know if there are Jamaicans in this country.

Send me a link or a video of Jamaicans in this country. I will search YouTube for any videos and post here. But in the meantime send me what you have.

If it was interesting to you , its interesting to me, and will be interesting to someone else. Please share.

Night clubs, restaurants, bus companies, taxi companies. Anything Jamaican please share.

When visiting different countries, sometimes you wished you could just find a store that sold some good old  Jamaican stuff.

If you found this place, please share.  This is a request to help out other Jamaicans as they visit different countries.

Just give the name of the Jamaican store and the county/city below.

While you're at it, answer the question, "Why would a Jamaican be in this country?"

What is the availability of the internet in this country?

The definition of Jamaican

It is only since I have been in the US that I realize that even those who have lived abroad all their lives, but have connections to Jamaica, like cousins, or nephews; worst yet, brothers and sisters, call themselves Jamaican.

As a result the Jamaican population abroad is even larger than the population "weh deh ah yard"

There are just so many people that call themselves Jamaican, when they were never born in Jamaica.

So I think this needs some clarification.

So let's get it right - you can only call yourself Jamaican if...

1) If you were born in Jamaica,
2) You presently live in Jamaica
3) You know how to speak and understand Patios
4) You have Jamaican Parents (born and raised in Jamaica)

DO NOT call yourself Jamaican if you do not at the very least saitisy 2 of the 4 characteristics listed above.

It does not matter how many friends you have that are Jamaican, it does not matter if you understand some of the dialect. You are not Jamaican unless you can satisfy at least two of the four characteristics mentioned above.

What are your thoughts?

Jamaican Husband and Wife Jokes

So this man was impotent and had been for the last 3 years.

Totally unsatisfied with his condition he decided to go visit a "mother woman"

The "mother woman" gave him a very EXPENSIVE  potion and said

          Mother Woman
"drink this, and when you ready for action just say "greng!".

Man
Den how mi know seh, dis a guh  werk?

Mother Woman
Den yuh nuh can test it now. But be warned this will only work 4 times.

So sure enough the man said "greng" and him tings stan up stiff stiff.

Man
Bauxide! Den how mi mek it go down?

Mother Woman
Just say Greng again.

Man
Really, that's all? Greng

And him tings go down.

The man was so excited that he could finally give his wife some that night. He left in a hurry.

Just before he pull the gate and go into his yard, he decided to test it again.

Man
Greng

If things stand up stiff

Man
Greng

If things go down back.

Same time him wife come roun di corner and seh to him.

Wife
What is all this Greng Greng, Greng Greng business mi hear wid out here?

Him cudn ansa
____________________________________________________________

So this couple went to the doctor and for whatever reason, the doctor required a sperm donation from the man. So the doctor gave them a bottle and said to the man put your specimen in this. 

So the man said okay and he and his spouse left the doctor's office. The very next day the man returned to the doctor with an empty bottle

"Doc I tried with one hand and then I tried both hands, but nothing. My wife also tried with one hand and then with both hands still nothing. We even got the girl next door to help.

With that, the doctor exclaimed, "The girl next door!"

Yeah, she is young a fit. Now she used her hands and she even used her mouth.

The doctor's glasses fell off.

She was sweating when she was done

But Doc no matter what all of us tried we just couldn't get this darn bottle opened.