Tell me seh dis nuh look like the image you have in yuh head of Big bway.
Post any jokes/stories here that you know about Big Boy. I'll' start with the few that I know.
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Joke 1 - Cricket Match
One day the Teacher gave the overnight assignment to the class to write about an interesting Cricket Match.
The following morning many of the boys and girls turned in numerous pages detailing the game of a cricket match. However Big Boy only turned in one page with one line on it.
It read, "Rain No play"
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Joke 2 - Stop your donkey
Back in the child hood days of Big Boy, he had childhood responsibilities before he went to school. One of them was the tying to pasture of the family's donkey "GG." On this particular morning Big bay was in a rush and did not tie the donkey properly. It would eventually get away, but big boy was oblivious of this.
In class they were doing spelling and teacher had called on big boy to spell "egg." Big boy was always clueless. So with his head hung down, he began to mumble.
The teacher shouted, "Hold up your head and say the letters clearly so everyone can hear!!"
At the very moment Big Boy looked up and glimpsed through the window the family donkey running down the street.
In anxiety Big Boy started to jump and shout!
EEEEE GG, EEEEEEE GG, EEEEE GG, EEEEE GG, EEEEE GG, EEEEE GG
To which the teacher just smiled and said, "Yes you are right".
But Big boy would be in big trouble later that evening to find the family donkey.
****Note. back in those days a person would yell "EEE" to stop a donkey and "WHOOA" to stop a horse.***
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Joke 3 - Art Class
In Art class one day, all students were supposed to draw a plane. While everybody was busy drawing big boy was just relaxing.
The art teacher walked up to him and asked, "Where is your drawing of the plane?"
Big boy pointed to a dot on his paper and said: "Here it is!
Art teacher: I don't see a plane! All I see is a dot!
Big boy: Oh that's just because it is far away
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In Art class one day, all students were supposed to draw a plane. While everybody was busy drawing big boy was just relaxing.
The art teacher walked up to him and asked, "Where is your drawing of the plane?"
Big boy pointed to a dot on his paper and said: "Here it is!
Art teacher: I don't see a plane! All I see is a dot!
Big boy: Oh that's just because it is far away
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Joke 4 - Lunch time-fight
Joke 5 - Professor's visit
One day Professor came to school and was assessing both the students and teacher for Big boy's class.
It was a fine day, Professor said, and a train was traveling 124 mph on the track. It had 2500 miles to travel. If the train takes 5 miles to stop, at what distance will the train need to be in order to cover the 2500 miles in 4 days?
If anyone can answer this question, they can also tell my age.
So everyone is trying to guess professors' age, but no one seems to be getting right.
Even Big Boy has his hand up, but the teacher does not want the professor to see it.
Despite her efforts, the professor calls on Big Boy
Professor: yes big boy
Big Boy: You are 46 years sir
Professor: Why yes, that is correct. Please tell the class how you got your answer.
Big boy: I have a neighbor who they call a half fool, and he is 23 years sir, and two times 23 is 46.
The class silent
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Joke 6 - I don't know
Just to show that some jokes are only funny because of ignorance. This is one such joke.
On the way to lunch, Big Boy's teacher spotted him and another boy playfully fighting. To separate the two, she commanded Big Boy to go to the back of the line, but he came back right away.
”Why aren't you at the end of the line?" asked the teacher.
To which Big boy replied, "I couldn't!
Teacher: And why is that?
Big boy: Someone was already there."
_______________________________________________________Joke 5 - Professor's visit
One day Professor came to school and was assessing both the students and teacher for Big boy's class.
It was a fine day, Professor said, and a train was traveling 124 mph on the track. It had 2500 miles to travel. If the train takes 5 miles to stop, at what distance will the train need to be in order to cover the 2500 miles in 4 days?
If anyone can answer this question, they can also tell my age.
So everyone is trying to guess professors' age, but no one seems to be getting right.
Even Big Boy has his hand up, but the teacher does not want the professor to see it.
Despite her efforts, the professor calls on Big Boy
Professor: yes big boy
Big Boy: You are 46 years sir
Professor: Why yes, that is correct. Please tell the class how you got your answer.
Big boy: I have a neighbor who they call a half fool, and he is 23 years sir, and two times 23 is 46.
The class silent
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Joke 6 - I don't know
Just to show that some jokes are only funny because of ignorance. This is one such joke.
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Joke 7 - When Big Bwoy Grow Up
Teacher: Students! What do you want to be when you grow up?.
Iceylyn: I want to be a shopkeeper! (teacher nods),
Teacher: What about you Ally?
Ally: I want to be a farmer Miss. (teacher nods)
Teacher: ...and you Keisha
Keisha: I want to be a housewife and the mother of 5 children (teacher is shocked by this answer that she does not even know how to respond, but then she turns and points to Big Boy)
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Joke 8 - Church meeting
In prayer meeting one night Big Bway seh to him fren wah invite him a church.
Den di opposite of cook nuh raw?
Big bway fren seh
Yeah man, but hush di people dem ah pray.
After prayer, the fren seh Amen!,
Den him turn di Big Bway an seh, ah wah kinda question dat you ah ask in di middle of prayer?
BIg bway seh,
yeah man, mi just realize seh, fi guh ah heaven you soul haffi cook
Him fren seh
Ah wah kinda foolishness yuh ah talk big bway
Afta dat big bway blurt out
Afta nuh Raw Soul cyah go to heaven!
Reverend her di argument and throw out big bway an im fren outta di meeting.
Big Boy's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Big Boy's family was invited over to see the baby.
ReplyDeleteBefore they left the house, Big Boy's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they ca,e back home.
Bog Boy told his dad he understood completely. When Big Boy looked in the Crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Big Boy."
Big Boy said,"He has beautiful little feet and beatiful little hands, a cute little nose and Really beautiful eyes"
"CAn he see?" asked Big Boy
"Yes" the mother replied, we are so thankful; the doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great, said Big boy, "cuz he'd be outa luck if he needed glasses"
Big bway teacher wrote the words "defeat, detail, defense" on the blackboard and asked the class to construct sentences with the words. There was a pause before a big bway jumped and said he could make a sentence with them....the teacher reluctantly agreed...to which big bway said; "A cow jumped over defense and detail went over with defeat."
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ReplyDeleteBig bway was at football practice one day when the coach said, pointing in the distance "Who here thinks they can jump higher than those goal posts over there" Although big bway already had his hand up...he still wanted to ensure that the coach called on him "Ooh me sir me" surprised that Big bway would have his hand up the coach replied, "But big bway you are the worst on the team!" To which big bway replied, "mi might be the worst, but mi a nuh fool, afta goalposts can't jump!"
ReplyDeleteA teacher walks into Big Boys classroom and asks the following question.
ReplyDeleteTeacher: how many seconds are in a year?
The class takes out paper and pencil and begin to calculate the answer.
Not even 10 seconds had passed when Big
Boy raised his hand.
TEACHER: Yes! What is the answer?
Big boy: this was a hard one Miss, but the answer is 24 seconds Miss.
Teacher: how in the world did you get 24 seconds!?
Big Boy: well there are 12 months in a year and each month has a 2nd and a 22nd, so when you add 22 + 2 you get 24 seconds Miss.
The teacher of "Big bway's" class announced to the class; "Take a pencil and paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire.'" Everyone but Big Bway who was leaning back with arms folded, began to write feverishly. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" "I'm waiting for my secretary," Big Bway replied.
ReplyDeleteBlood Circulation
ReplyDeleteBig Boy's teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation, so trying to make the matter clearer she asked, "If I stood on my head the blood in my body would fill my head; however when I stand upright the blood does not run into my feet, why is that?"
Almost as immediately as she finished the question Big Boy shouted, "It's because your feet aren't empty miss!"
Teacher: Class, make a sentence with dandelion.
ReplyDeleteBig bwoy jumps up and shouts out: Di cheetah is fasta Dan di lion
best
ReplyDeleteFor many individuals, the beginning and end of translation solutions are automated systems like Babel fish or the Google translation device. The noticeable trouble with this sort of game localization services is that it is done by makers, as well as we have not, yet, established a computer system that can change a human mind and all the experience that people can supply.
ReplyDelete