Jamaican Husband and Wife Jokes

So this man was impotent and had been for the last 3 years.

Totally unsatisfied with his condition he decided to go visit a "mother woman"

The "mother woman" gave him a very EXPENSIVE  potion and said

          Mother Woman
"drink this, and when you ready for action just say "greng!".

Man
Den how mi know seh, dis a guh  werk?

Mother Woman
Den yuh nuh can test it now. But be warned this will only work 4 times.

So sure enough the man said "greng" and him tings stan up stiff stiff.

Man
Bauxide! Den how mi mek it go down?

Mother Woman
Just say Greng again.

Man
Really, that's all? Greng

And him tings go down.

The man was so excited that he could finally give his wife some that night. He left in a hurry.

Just before he pull the gate and go into his yard, he decided to test it again.

Man
Greng

If things stand up stiff

Man
Greng

If things go down back.

Same time him wife come roun di corner and seh to him.

Wife
What is all this Greng Greng, Greng Greng business mi hear wid out here?

Him cudn ansa
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So this couple went to the doctor and for whatever reason, the doctor required a sperm donation from the man. So the doctor gave them a bottle and said to the man put your specimen in this. 

So the man said okay and he and his spouse left the doctor's office. The very next day the man returned to the doctor with an empty bottle

"Doc I tried with one hand and then I tried both hands, but nothing. My wife also tried with one hand and then with both hands still nothing. We even got the girl next door to help.

With that, the doctor exclaimed, "The girl next door!"

Yeah, she is young a fit. Now she used her hands and she even used her mouth.

The doctor's glasses fell off.

She was sweating when she was done

But Doc no matter what all of us tried we just couldn't get this darn bottle opened.